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Author Topic: I'm thinking of writing a book...  (Read 2599 times)

Offline Infantryman

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I'm thinking of writing a book...
« on: June 22, 2010, 01:26:39 am »
This is the style it would be in, but I woulfdn't hold back,  It would be more adult and I have to wait until one more person dies.

Tell me your honest opinion.

This is copyrighted material by Me, Greg Cornish and is 100%? truth.

About 2 years after my car accident, about 1973 or 1974 my ex said, "I think we should live apart for a while."

I translated that to mean, "GTFO of my life."

That presented a problem because I could not live on my own - I needed help. I couldn't blame her though, I was carrying around a pretty big chip on my shoulder. About the only thing I could do on my own however, was get in and out of my wheelchair.

I found some unique single wide trailers in Mankato, MN. There were 16 of them. The were single wides four stories high with an elevator.  Now I realize that if I were to tell anyone that I lived in a second story single wide trailer in a four story single high trailer park, you might think I was stretching the truth. You might even, as some have done, accuse me of lying. That's the reason I always carry proof.

I was on permanent Workman's Compensation which meant that I made to much money to qualify for any public assistance and not enough to hire anyone to meet my daily needs.

However, I was able to arrange for public health nurses to visit me 3 times a week to help me with basic needs. Oh God, they got grouchy when they found out what those needs were.  They were the kind of nurses who just wanted to stop by, make sure you weren't dead and thaw a TV dinner for you. 

I had the brilliant idea that since I lived in a college town I could simply advertise, FREE RENT IN EXCHANGE FOR LIGHT DUTY CARE FOR QUADRIPLEGIC, and students would beat a path to my door. Three weeks went by and no-one answered my ad and the nurses said they were quitting in a week.

I was desperate. My only option was a nursing home and I was only 24 years old.

Two days after my ad expired I got a phone call.  Someone's friend needed a job and asked for an interview. I was ecstatic. I might not end up in a home after all.

I heard them approaching on the metal staircase and concrete catwalk that allowed access to all 16 single wide trailers.  I peeked out the window and saw a blond burly guy approaching.

"Great," I thought," he looks strong enough to hoist me around if I take a fall."

I yelled. "Come in," when he knocked.

As I was introducing myself to him I noticed it looked like he had 4 legs. He reached around behind him, grabbed a guy by the wrist and pulled him into my view. The legs belonged to a very lithe Native American named Alvin Lee Roy. He was about 5 ft 2 in tall and 110 pounds - maybe.

I said, "Who is this?"

As he introduced Alvin Lee Roy I noticed Alvin wore girls pants with a zipper on the side. Alvin gazed at his feet the entire time he was there.  I said, "Hello Alvin," and reached out to shake hands with him.  Between I being not able to grip and Alvin being the most effeminate man I ever met, there was no grasp in the handshake.  I prefer a handshake that hurts my knuckles as they grind together.

The burly guy started waving his hands at Alvin and Alvin waved his hands back. I asked, "What is going on?"

The burly blond said, "Oh he's deaf didn't I tell you? But he can read writing."

"No", I said, "and my handwriting isn't all that good."

Alvin works for me at a downtown restaurant and I think you could help each other out.  He just got out of jail.

He had my attention. "What for?"

"He was trying on ladies lingerie in Brett's department store."

My mind was pretty much gone about now.  My nurses were leaving in 2 days and I was headed for a nursing home. Alvin was my only out and he had more problems than I did. I also found he'd been an abandoned baby.

The burly man asked, "Does any of this bother you?"

I lied. I said, "No." My freedom was important. I have to give my only chance a chance.

We went over the duties required by Alvin and everything was settled.

As the burly man left he said, "Oh, one more thing. Alvin is an alcoholic and takes a drug called Antabuse. If he has the slightest amount of alcohol he will become violently ill.  I administer it to him at work so you don't need to worry about it. Does that fact change anything?"

I stuttered.. "Ah No," lying again.

When they were gone I tried to comprehend what just happened. Tomorrow my new room mate in the small farm town of Mankato, MN would be a cross dressing, gay, deaf and dumb, alcoholic, Native American. ...And he would have to do some very personal things for me.

They left me a hand book for sign language. I couldn't even turn the pages much less do sign language.  I did get it open long enough to realize the only thing I could sign was "Love," and "Rope". Maybe I could tell Alvin Lee Roy I would love it if he got me some rope so I could hang myself.

Things actually worked out very well for Alvin and I for 2 weeks.  He liked to sleep late so when I got up I would throw open the door to the second bedroom where he slept on the carpet in a sleeping bag and pound the 2 inch walls till the shaking building woke him.  He would do what he had to do for me, make coffee and go about his day. Then one night Alvin disappeared for two days.  It meant a trip to emergency for me and a good screaming match at Alvin when he finally returned.  A lot of good it did, he was deaf.  That's when I learned what ALL CAPS MEANT IN HIS NOTEBOOK.

I started thinking and scheming trying to figure out if I could indeed become independent. I had my father build a bench next to the tub that would flip up and down.  I found I could actually bath myself.  I also found out I could undress myself but not dress myself.  After wrestling with ideas I finally found that I could - if I wore over sized polyester pants and double sewed the belt loops - by pulling my pants up by hooking my thumbs in the loops. A rehab specialist introduced me to a zipper puller and button hook.

The only thing left to master was going to the bathroom. I'll spare the details but after 2 weeks of trial and error I had figured that out too. During this learning curve Alvin was pulling his disappearing act more and more often. Each time promising he'd never do it again.

My wife stopped by with the divorce papers. We split everything in our apartment 50/50. She got the inside, I got the outside. Our divorce was drawn up by her and cost us $35.

Alvin Lee Roy had now left for good, leaving all his possessions behind, and I was 100% free.

Nearly a month later, I took my new independence to the local bars where I met a girl named Jean.  We dated for a while and it had been some time since I had any intimacy with a women.  One night I brought her home. I think her main reason was to get a good look at the weird trailer houses, nick named, "Tornado Towers".

I put some mood music on the record player and got two beers and transferred myself to the couch. Jean sat beside me and we immediately started kissing.  We then slid to the floor where we could be more comfortable.

She asked, "Do you live alone?"

I said, "Yes, I had a room mate but he moved out over a month ago."

We went for it.

Suddenly Alvin Lee Roy, the man with three first names,  appeared in the door.  Jean by now was in her birthday best and was trying to cover herself with herself, but the parts she was trying to cover were three and she only had two parts of herself to cover herself with.  She screamed, "WHO IS THAT!?"

I said, "My room mate." and turned my attention to Alvin and yelled, "GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"

Jean yelled, "YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE A ROOM MATE!"

Then I turned to Jean and yelled, "I DIDN'T THINK I DID."

Jean looked perplexed.

I fully expected Alvin to analyze the situation and go pick up his belongings and leave, but I guess people sitting around the house in their altogether was nothing new to Alvin and he came over to me, seated himself cross legged at my feet, signing wildly. Jean was very pale to begin with but she looked ready to call lights out.

I yelled, "GO AWAY! GO AWAY!," all the while making wild motions with my hands. Alvin finally got the message and left. ....So we thought.  He return to our feet and sat cross legged with his notebook and started writing.  He wrote, "I find job in dress factory in Minneapolis, I go now, okay?" I thought, "Oh, how effing perfect for you."

I grabbed the notebook, positioned the pen and in huge block letters, wrote,
"GO AWAY!"

Jean went away too shortly after Alvin did. Neither of them ever returned.

I went to bed - still thankful I was free.

Let me introduce you to...

Tornado Towers.

« Last Edit: June 22, 2010, 01:29:33 am by Infantryman »
“Help a man when he's in trouble and he will remember when he's in trouble again.”

Offline Hambone

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2010, 03:07:35 am »
More please.  I love how you yell at a deaf man to GO AWAY GO AWAY and wave your arms wildly, and he cant tell you are trying to get rid of him...sry you didn't score. :P

I think it's a great idea.  You have something unique that most people cannot offer- a first hand experience of life as a
quadriplegic.  That in of itself is something I'm sure a lot of people would be interested in knowing and reading about.   Hell, just in the forums, you've shown all kinds of cool stuff you have invented to help yourself, and told all of us a bunch of stories of your life.

A lot of the time, when someone posts something that is a somewhat long read, such as a news article, or a report or something, I read a line or two, and if it doesn't interest me enough to read it all, I click the 'back' button on my browser.  When I read your "long" posts about things that have happened in your life, it immediately interests me, and I usually always read through to the bottom.  Give it a go.  I'm interested in reading it.

Offline Hambone

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2010, 02:46:50 am »
Bump.

Offline Neo

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2010, 04:10:45 am »
memoirs and autobiographies are definitely one of my favorite reads...

if you publish i'd be sure to buy one...

Offline Drizz

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2010, 11:57:34 am »
I'd spend money for a real copy of that media for sure!

Offline Infantryman

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2010, 12:23:40 pm »
I'd be so embarrassed, because it would be a soul exposing adventure.
“Help a man when he's in trouble and he will remember when he's in trouble again.”

Offline Heartless

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2010, 12:49:14 am »
am i going to be in it?

Offline Infantryman

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2010, 12:57:26 am »
am i going to be in it?
Only if you get through the hazing I'll hire Drizzle to plan for you.
“Help a man when he's in trouble and he will remember when he's in trouble again.”

Offline Hambone

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2010, 02:47:39 am »
am i going to be in it?
Only if you get through the hazing I'll hire Drizzle to plan for you.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

You can also have him design your cover in Photoshop...

Offline Ghostly Knight

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Re: I'm thinking of writing a book...
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2010, 06:59:12 pm »
Yeah, hell, I'd pay extra for a signed copy.

I think it would be a great read.
Neckface - "You're a sex fiend and a sexual deviant."